Day 9 - More Crap and another twist

Well, my doctor called me back on Thursday, and I am now on High Blood Pressure medication. He's thinking that perhaps this was NOT caused by the Venlafaxine, because it went right back up after being off it. So, I am now taking 10mg of Lisinopril. At least I'm supposed to be. I got the prescription filled Thursday night, but have not been able to bring myself to take it. Shit, I'm a 42-yr-old woman. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this yet! I suppose it was inevitable - my dad had severe hypertension for years before dying of a massive heart attack almost 3 years ago. My mom is on HBP meds. I just didn't think it would happen this early for me.
Back on one of my first posts, someone asked me if I ever smoke marijuana to relax myself. I replied that I had, but with a teenaged son in the the house and my addictive nature it wasn't the best thing to be doing. Well, I broke down Thursday thinking about having to take this medicine, and went to a friend and bought a bag of weed. I have to say that it really helps - I even did a "before" and "after" blood pressure reading and it went from 130/100 to 110/90. Still high for me, but at least I feel like I can buy some time to think more about this medicine. I called my doc and voiced my fears and his nurse said it was the safest ACE Inhibitor out there...but what does that really mean? Look at some of these personal stories
So, I like being relaxed, but I don't want to be high, per se. Is there something that can give you the beneficial, healing properties of cannabis without being stoned? Well, according to a friend of mine, hemp oil is the answer. He has used it first-hand, and knows it has healing powers. Watching the video about the man with Parkinson's was very powerful to me. My friend has agreed to make the oil for me if I will go off all meds for 90 days. So, this blog is taking a turn. Some people will decide not to follow, some will be more intrigued by the idea and will follow closely over my 90-day cure. I just know that if this works as well as these men claim, I will be a very vocal proponent for the legalization of marijuana and the production of the oil as a cure-all. The pharmaceutical companies have everyone so duped that their poison is good for us...only because they know they can't patent marijuana and its products.
So, if this twist has turned you away, I wish you luck and I will continue to follow your blogs. Just do me a favor, okay? Check back in about 90 days and see how I'm doing.
If you decide to follow my progress, I promise to report as often as possible (I will shoot for every day, but I can't promise!) and be as honest and detailed as I can. I'll let you know when I start.
Oh, and if you're concerned about me going off the meds, I will still be getting regular check-ups from my Doctor, and I'm currently looking for a Naturopath familiar with hemp oil in my area.
PS....I am also starting a diet and exercise program. I am telling you my starting information so I can keep a log. There's nothing like telling the world your weight and BMI to get you off your butt and doing something! I have turned from a mushroom on the couch to a fungus...my things have spread from the spot I'm planted, across the coffee table, the bookcase, the floor...everything within reach!
So..here goes...my current weight is..........170.4 (I've lost a couple!)
and my current BMI is......................... 35%!!!!!
Anyone willing to join me?

On my way...

I have battled depression for so many years, I don't even remember for how long. This summer, I went off my meds. I really thought I could do it this time! Well, by September I was a mushroom growing out of the couch, both in usefulness and shape. A poisonous mushroom nobody wanted to touch or even be near. My house is atrociously dirty, as I find many other, lazier, things to do than clean. Why my husband hasn't left me yet, I don't know. The piles of laundry are too scary to touch, and the dust bunnies are multiplying everywhere, just as rabbits do.
I just finished one week of going back on an antidepressant. I take the generic brand Venlafaxine. I'm starting a gradual dose of 37.5mg the first week, 75mg the second week, then my regular dose of 150mg starting the third week. They truly are the happy pills that keep me from becoming rooted to my couch or bed, and I think I am finally resigned to the fact that I may need these for the rest of my life. When we have insurance, it costs $30/month. When we don't, it's $175. Since my husband works seasonally and we are quite often without insurance for months at a time, it can be a real financial hardship to keep mama supplied with the magic pills. But, I realize now that I need them to function at a very basic level.
I want to share my struggle with others who are going through the same thing. To let you know that there is someone out there just like you, and maybe we can start our own little on-line support group. Thanks for reading my first post!