I have battled depression for so many years, I don't even remember for how long. This summer, I went off my meds. I really thought I could do it this time! Well, by September I was a mushroom growing out of the couch, both in usefulness and shape. A poisonous mushroom nobody wanted to touch or even be near. My house is atrociously dirty, as I find many other, lazier, things to do than clean. Why my husband hasn't left me yet, I don't know. The piles of laundry are too scary to touch, and the dust bunnies are multiplying everywhere, just as rabbits do.
I just finished one week of going back on an antidepressant. I take the generic brand Venlafaxine. I'm starting a gradual dose of 37.5mg the first week, 75mg the second week, then my regular dose of 150mg starting the third week. They truly are the happy pills that keep me from becoming rooted to my couch or bed, and I think I am finally resigned to the fact that I may need these for the rest of my life. When we have insurance, it costs $30/month. When we don't, it's $175. Since my husband works seasonally and we are quite often without insurance for months at a time, it can be a real financial hardship to keep mama supplied with the magic pills. But, I realize now that I need them to function at a very basic level.
I want to share my struggle with others who are going through the same thing. To let you know that there is someone out there just like you, and maybe we can start our own little on-line support group. Thanks for reading my first post!
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Congratulations on beginning a blog, especially one so intensely personal.
ReplyDeleteIt is not really my business but I wonder if you have thought about or looking into the medical marijuana possibility? I understand it can work wonders for depression and at the very least, it is good for insomnia.
Peace and comfort to you and your family!
insomnia sucks. I damn near overdose myself to get sleep. I hate the feeling of just laying there, then the anxiety attacks come. They say that you are supposed to get up. I have had hundreds of night at that three in the morning crap. I think insomnia might be worse than the depression or atleast it makes it worse. If I don't get sleep everything is worse... I didn't know that marijuana helped insomnia or depression. huh. what about cronic pain? I'm pretty sure my husband would have a heart attack anyway if I even mentioned it. lol.
ReplyDeleteI have been on damn near all of the antidepressants and haven't heard of the one your talking about. Is it a generic for one? Atleast it make you happy. So many people try to go off of them and just end up more screwed up then some people actually can and just needed them for a short time. wouldn't that be nice. ?? Here is my sight you should read the earlier posts about all of my depression and anxiety attacks. we have allot in common. Hope it helps. http://depressionisms.blogspot.com/
Here it is, 2:48am. Thank you for your posts. I've heard that you need to get up, too, so here I am.
ReplyDeleteJerry, I have tried marijuana, and it does help with the insomnia, but with my addictive personality I find it hard to do anything in moderation. Being stoned all the time comes with its own issues, and with a teenage son at home those are more issues I don't need to deal with.
LookingForNormal - Venlafaxine is generic for Effexor. I was taking Effexor XR before this. The generic is not XR (extended release), though, and I take my medicine at night so I think I'm going to have to change that. It's probably causing my insomnia right now. The only trouble is, I have trouble remembering to take it in the morning. It sucks. I've tried at least a half dozen different drugs over the last 15 years. That sucks, too. Oh, and the link you posted was actually MY site...what's yours?